Buffy In Wonderland
by Gothic Paranormal Author
Summary: What if when Wonderland needed its champion, she wasn't available? So instead they took the next best thing.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. All rights belong to Joss Whedon and Tim Burton.

**Author's Note:** After seeing Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland I was inspired. I started wondering what things would be like if time passed differently between worlds and Alice wasn't around to slay the Jabberwocky, so they took the next best thing. Enjoy Buffy in Wonderland.

"Alice! You're back!"

***

When Buffy finally came to her senses she was overwhelmed by the dull ache in her bones and the sight of her surroundings. Judging by the pain and the beauty that engulfed her, it seemed she had once again ended up somewhere she shouldn't be.

Where ever she was it certainly wasn't Sunnydale. Unless Sunnydale had recently sprouted a giant mushroom forest, which Buffy thought was unlikely. She tried to shift her weight to stand up but her muscles groaned in protest.

"Okay, no standing," she muttered. "I can do that." She looked up from her spot on the ground and could see all manner of strange creatures. Either she was dreaming, or she had a concussion. Either scenario was better than facing reality – Buffy Summers had once again entered another world.

Squeezing her eyes shut Buffy tried to remember what had taken place during the past twenty-four hours. Unfortunately all that came to mind was absolute nonsense. It was becoming increasingly likely that she had a concussion. Her last conscious thoughts were of chasing a white rabbit in a waistcoat down its rabbit hole. Which made no sense.

***

When Buffy finally awoke she found herself in the company of the same white rabbit which had led her astray. Also watching her were two fat, bald boys, a dodo bird, a dormouse and a caterpillar. Curioser and Curioser. _This is a just a dream_, she told herself.

"Anyone wanna tell me what's going on here?" she asked, finally glad to have control of her muscles again. She sat up and brushed the dust off her jeans.

"See! I told you it's the wrong Alice!" shouted the mouse. "Our Alice would never talk like that! Or wear clothes like that! She's a fake!"

"I'm more real than you mouse boy. You're just part of a dream," she told him.

Completely ignoring the dormouse the caterpillar turned to her. "Who are you?" it asked.

"How 'bout you tell me first?" Buffy countered.

The caterpillar sighed. "I am Absolem. And who are you?"

Buffy paused testing out the strange name in her mind. Definitely a dream. "Buffy Summers."

"But who are you?"

"I told you, Buffy Summers."

"You're hardly Alice," it drawled.

"Well that's a relief. I'd hate to have been going by the wrong name all these years," she snapped. "Listen, if we're done with this little moment here, can someone just point me in the right direction on how to get out of here. Or maybe pinch me so I can wake up?"

"Would you like me to stab you?" the dormouse asked.

"That would be quite helpful actually," she replied.

The dormouse raised its sword and plunged it into Buffy's foot. It didn't wake her up but the jolt of pain certainly helped to clear her mind. "I don't suppose one of you will tell me where I am?" she finally asked.

"Why you're in Underland of course," said the dodo.

"You called it Wonderland when you were last here," the white rabbit added.

"I'm sorry but I've never been here before. I think mouse boy is right. I'm the wrong girl."

The caterpillar exhaled, releasing a plume of smoke. "I said you were hardly Alice, but you are absolutely right."

"And in some language that's English?" Buffy huffed.

"How can she be the right girl but not Alice?! We need Alice to slay the Jabberwocky."

Buffy's ear perked up. "Slay? Now you're talking my language."

The white rabbit scurried forward and brought out a long scroll. It unrolled it until it Buffy saw a girl in armour about to slay a massive dragon.

"You want me to slay that?" she asked. It didn't look like that big a deal. She'd taken down bigger baddies on the Hellmouth. And maybe, if she took down the Jabber-whatever she could go home. She had people who needed her.

"No, no, no!" shouted the mouse. "We need Alice to slay that. Alice Kingsley. Not Buffy Summers."

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "You're gonna have a slight problem with that scenario then."

"Why?" they asked in unison.

"Alice Kingsley has been dead for over a hundred years. She was my great-great grandmother."

***

Sorry it's short. The chapters that follow will be longer!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **For this story I'm using a lot elements from the movie but I'm twisting it to suit my own needs. So not everything will exact and some parts will change while others will remain the same. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. All rights belong to Joss Whedon and Tim Burton (and Lewis Carroll)

***

After all these years one would think the taste of tea would turn sour, yet it remained just as sweet as it had thirteen years ago when she first came to Underland. It was clear no one thought that she would leave such a lasting impression on the people of Underland. Even he had not expected for his heart to grow so fond of the young blond. Yet there was not a day that passed when his rather mad mind did not think of the girl he let go. But Frabjous day was approaching; Alice Kingsley would be returning to slay the jabberwocky.

***

"But Alice can't be gone!" shrieked the White Rabbit. "Who will slay the jabberwocky?"

Buffy Summers just stood there, unsure of what was going on. She still held on to the idea that this was a dream, and that any minute now, Willow would come and wake her up. The idea of being sucked into another dimension, after seeing both heaven and hell, was not at the top of her to-do list.

"Listen, I'm all for the slaying, but if you'll just point me in the right direction or maybe get the alarm working, I'll be on my way."

"You stupid girl," drawled Absolem. "You still think this is a dream. Look around Hardly Alice, could you ever imagine something as stunning as Underland.

Before Buffy could step forward and squish the insulting caterpillar a great rumble began to make the forest floor shake.

"Run!" shouted the dormouse. "It's the bandersnatch!"

Before Buffy even had a chance to ask what a bandersnatch was she was being urged forward by the two bald, fat boys.

"What's your name?" she shouted over the roar of what she assumed was the bandersnatch.

"I'm Tweedle Dee and he's Tweedle Dum," replied the one.

"Contrary wise I'm Tweedle Dum and he's Tweedle Dee," replied the other before they both ducked into the cover of the mushrooms. Out of the corned of her eye Buffy saw a group of playing cards capture the White Rabbit and the dodo bird. Now she was running alone as she watched the dormouse leap into a rotting log.

Now that Buffy could see the bandersnatch she had to admit, it was at least a seven on the big-bad-o-meter.

"But I've faced solid tens before," she muttered. Skidding to a halt Buffy stopped and waited as the bandersnatch approached.

The slobbering beast stopped inches from Buffy and roared.

"Ew, ever heard of breath mints? Or do they not have those in Wonderland?"

In response the bandersnatch swiped at Buffy, leaving long angry red marks on her arm and tears in her sleeve.

"You stupid bandofsnatchers, this shirt was new. You guys better have a mall here."

Before she had a chance to strike back the dormouse was on the head of the shirt-ruining beast. Plunging its tiny sword into the eye of the beast it pulled it out with a quiet pop. "Run!" the mouse ordered. She ran.

***

When Buffy finally stopped only the Tweedles were left by her side. After all of this she was slowly coming to accept that maybe this wasn't a dream. They came to stop at a fork in the road.

"Which way?" Buffy asked, pointing to the gnarled sign.

"East to Queast," Tweedle Dum pointed. Or maybe it was Tweedle Dee.

"No," the other Tweedle argued (Buffy had no way of telling the two apart), "South to Snud."

"And Giles said I butchered the English language," Buffy muttered. Wonderland, or Underland or whatever it was called seemed to have a language all its own. It was mildly frustrating but Buffy realized she put Giles through this almost daily. A small moment of home sickness washed over Buffy. She'd only been gone a day or so and she already missed Sunnydale.

Before she and the Tweedles could settle on a direction a giant bird swooped down from the sky. With her enhanced slayer speed Buffy ducked and rolled out of the way. The Tweedles weren't as lucky. Before Buffy could reach them, the Tweedles were carried off by the creepy bird.

"I've had just about enough of this," she huffed as she began walking. "First the shirt-ruining banderwhatever and then big bird flies off with my only guides. The PTB must be laughing their heads off at this. I'm so sick of being their butt-monkey."

"Might I ask what a butt-monkey is? I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting one."

Buffy could hear the voice clearly as if the person who had spoken was right beside her, but when she turned she found herself alone. "Great now I'm hearing things. This all seems like something out of Dr Seuss."

"I have never mett Dr Seuss either. Is he new to Underland?"

Buffy turned on her heel again and this time came face to face with a blue and purple striped cat. And it smiled at her. "I didn't know cats could smile."

"They can't," it replied smugly. And then its smile seemed to grow bigger. "And who are you?"

"Buffy."

"Not Alice?"

"That seems to be up for debate. Could you possibly show me the way out of here? I'd like to go back to Sunnydale."

"Unless Underland has expanded without my knowledge, there is no such place as Sunnydale."

"And you're sure there's no chance that Underland, or Wonderland, has expanded without your knowledge?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid it's highly unlikely." The cat's grin widened and it floated and rested gently on a tree branch. "You should really have that looked at." Buffy must have looked confused because the Cheshire cat clarified. "You're arm. If you don't have that purified it will putrefy. That would be... unfortunate."

"And how would I go about purifying the scratches?" she asked.

"Why I could do it. All I need to do is lick the scratches." If it was even possible (and Buffy was starting to believe just about anything was) the cat's smile grew, stretching from ear to ear.

Buffy took a step back. "I think I'll pass. You're giving me the wiggins. Besides, Buffy and just about any living creature don't mix. So run along kitty cat."

"But without me who will show the way?" he teased smugly. "Underland can be _very _confusing and without a guide, I do fear you would become utterly lost."

"And what would you want in exchange for you guidance?" Buffy asked as she quirked her eyebrow, already starting to understand how the cat's mind worked.

"Nothing. At least, not yet. If I should ever need favour I wouldn't hesitate to ask. And in return you wouldn't hesitate to help me."

"Fine. Show me the way to.... well, anywhere I guess."

"I'll take you to the Hatter and the Hare. I'm sure you'll find them to be wonderful company."

"I somehow doubt that," she muttered under her breath.

The Cheshire cat disappeared from in front of Buffy. Just as Buffy started to panic he reappeared where the hill crested. "Well? Are you coming?"

"Not like I have a choice," she huffed. "Seems I'm stuck here until Willow can find a way to get me back home." She paused as a thought occurred to her. "That is, if they know I'm missing."

"Come along, we don't have all day," the cat chastised as it flicked its tail impatiently.

"I'm coming you freak of nature. Don't get your tail in a knot." Buffy started moving, swatting at the natural wildlife and wishing she'd been wearing more sensible shoes when she'd been transported to Wonderland. "I hope Willow finds me soon."

***

Review! The Mad Hatter will appear in the next chapter and more about the Buffy/Alice connection will be revealed.


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